real life

(or something close to it...)

Friday, May 28, 2004




is it 4pm yet???????????????????????????????????????

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Nothing too exciting to write about.

I just finished eating some Twizzlers (actually the Nibs...cherry bits).

Here is what I have had today...foodwise.

Special K w/ Red Berries cereal
2 little (and I mean LITTLE) containers of OJ left over from a program our department did last Saturday (they are the containers you get when you are in the hospital...enough for about 2 sips)..

My Cherry Twizzler nibs.

It's 12.22 and lunch is coming up... I might just run to Wendy's or go over to the cafe. The cafeteria has some good choices... also, it's very cheap.

I'm almost finished with the 3rd Harry Potter. I have about 150 pages left. Not bad for starting it on Monday evening. I read a ton while I was waiting at Penn for my appointment on Tuesday morning. The 3rd book is definitely my favorite of them all. I can't wait to see the movie.

On my side of the world it's nice and sunny out... it would be perfect... except for the hearse that is blocking my window!! :O)

More ramblings later.

Monday, May 24, 2004


Those were the words that I heard today from a student who will be attending a program at my University. I have never had those words said to me before...and let me tell you. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Something happened that I couldn't control and therefore I needed to make some changes. I sat there at my little table in a huge room of little tables and tried my best to not cry.

Those words sat with me all day. I know I didn't really ruin her life. I didn't even make it uncomfortable. So, I'm not sure why it bothered me so much. I usually have a strong back when students curse at me or start yelling or crying in my office. For some reason, today was different. I think because those words are so very harsh and I know that they aren't true.

That's it for now. A person from my building let me borrow the 3rd Harry Potter. I read it 3 years ago... but I need to brush up before the movie comes out. I think I'll take it to Chicago this weekend and finish it there.
Monday again.

Interesting weekend. I'm trying to decide where I belong churchwise. I'm not so sure it's the Vineyard anymore. I've decided to take the summer and really try to find where I belong in community.

I visited Storehouse Church yesterday in Plymouth Meeting. About 20 minutes from my place. I imagine it's is now a lot like the Vineyard was when it was first beginning...but for a church of barely 200... they have tons of stuff happening. Lots of small groups, outreach activities, etc.

10th Presbyterian has been wonderful & I'm starting to build relationships there quite well... Dr. Ryken has to be one of the best preachers I have ever heard (plus... he likes The Simpsons... that's cool).

I've known a few of the people from the Vineyard for 8 years. I'm still not quite sure what I did by saying I wasn't going to come this summer. Is it God? or something else? I'm not having a faith crisis.... I'm having a "where do I belong" crisis that has actually been brewing for quite awhile.

There really isn't that much more I will go into here in this public of a forum... I'll give you all updates every now and then re: this situation.

Other weekend stuff...worked on Saturday, then attended a graduation party in the evening. It was nice. Lots of people from the Midwest. Kinda felt like home.

Well, gotta scoot... today is orientation for one of the nursing programs. Lots of work ahead of me today.

Oh... saw the doctor re: my stress fractures... he said that they are pretty serious and that he wants me to where a walking boot (I think that's the name) for a bit on my right ankle (I guess the worse of the two)


Friday, May 21, 2004

Craziness all around. I can't believe it's 2.34 already. This day is flying by.

My coworker just told me that she took a job at another local college. This is not great for me, but I'm extremely happy for her. She had been pretty miserable here for awhile and the new job is a lot closer to her home, less responsibility, less stress, etc. It puts me in an interesting position. Our office will now be down 2 positions... an Assistant Director and a Coordinator... in the most hectic time of the year.

I have given myself a year in this position at this university. Don't get me wrong, I love the place, love the hospital, location, etc... the office dynamics are a little tough to work with.

We'll see what happens. I'm sure it will be interesting... all my job choices have been and God has truly been at the center of them all.

Ankle update: Well, since I didn't hear from my doctor I thought that my MRI was normal. Well, he called me yesterday afternoon and casually asked me how I was feeling. I said fine. He said, that's interesting because your MRI wasn't normal. Long story short, it turns out that I have stress fractures in both of my feet. I am seeing him tomorrow morning at the clinic here. He's pretty cool... I can't believe he called me back himself... not a nurse and that he will be seeing me on a Saturday morning.

Ok... must get back to work.

Bye for now.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

I'm in a quandry, I'm jealous of other people's blogs. Not their blogs exactly, but the life they have to fill their blogs.

Husbands, wives, kids, families, pregnancies, etc...

I really don't have any of that.

Everyday I feel like just writing "well, nothing exciting has happened to me today." And, well, it's the truth. I get up, go to work, come home from work, eat, read the mail, watch a little tv, get ready for bed, and then sleep... and then start the cycle over 6 hours later.

Yesterday was my annual exam at HUP. I'm three years post transplant. The day went by pretty fast. First, was the office visit. Everything seemed Ok there.. the doctor wants me to get a bone scan just took check for loss. I was on prednisone for a bit after my transplant and that can contribute to bone loss. After the office visit, I went for my biopsy. Which usually hurts.. but this time it didn't at all. Finally, I had a echocardiogram...which was just uncomfortable. Next week is my 5 hour long stress test. That should be interesting... I still don't know what all is involved.

I took the whole day off and since my hospital stuff ended early I just bummed around University City. It was a nice day.. I got lunch from a food truck and sat and read my book.

Last night was the 175th Anniversary Concert at the Kimmel Center for 10th Presbyterian church. It was nice.. but I was sooo tired. It didn't end until almost 10 and by the time I got home... it was almost 11pm.

Thankfully, today is Wednesday... and Wednesdays go by fast. Very fast.

So... is anyone actually reading this???? Or have I bored everybody away? And, to the frequent reader, you might notice I've deleted everything I wrote re: my friend that I said I wasn't going to talk to anymore... I've had that happen so many times to me... it's just not right to deliberately do it to someone else when it's not warranted. It just sucks either way.

Anyway, gotta scoot... lots of work to get to.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Sunday.... the weekend is almost over.

I went to see a movie today. "13 Going On 30" The Jennifer Garner version of "Big"... it was actually quite nice and silly and touching and girly. Everything I like in a chick flick. I went to a matinee at King of Prussia. There were only eight (all women) people in the whole theatre. There was one woman sitting behind me with her teenage daughter. She was funny to listen to because she laughed hysterically throughout the whole movie. I definitely recommend this movie.... rent, pay the money, whatever... if you like cute girly movies... this will work for you.

I checked my palm pilot and at this time last year I had already seen 10 movies. This is only number 5 for me so far. My list for 2004 goes like this:

Cold Mountain 1.1.04
Big Fish 1.31.04
Miracle 2.21.04
The Passion of the Christ 2.25.04
13 Going on 30 5.16.04

gotta scoot....
After a quick nap this morning once I got home I took a trip to Lancaster County. Just because... for no reason in particular. I like driving. It was a nice day. Just one last thought before I go to bed.

Cows make me smile.

goodnight all.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

I couldn't have asked for a bettern evening to be at the hospital. I only got two calls... and nothing after 9.30pm. I stayed with my first call until almost midnight (we had called a taxi for him and after waiting for 4 hours 15 minutes and countless phone calls... they decided to show up). After I got him safely in the taxi, I called it a night. I went to sleep. Woke up a little throughout the night but all in all... I had a full night's sleep.

It's going to be 90 today. I think I'll go see a cheesy, stupid movie.

More later.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Well, it's 7.15pm and so far so good... no calls. I got off work and took a little nap until 6pm... then I went to the cafeteria and got dinner (grilled cheese plus various other snacks to keep me through the night). There are a few patients I'm going to go visit... I'll go around 7.30.

Nothing else too exciting to report.

Bye for now.
Today should be an interesting day. I'm working until 4.30 and then took the pastoral care duty for Friday evening. So... theoretically, I might be up for 24 hours straight. I hope to God not. I hope that there aren't any big traumas that I'll be called for... even though that's what makes the night exciting... I would rather it be peaceful and quiet... (ie... no gunshots, nor drunk driving accidents, nor hits in the head with a baseball bat, nor jumping out of windows, etc, etc, etc...). I'm just really not in the mood today. If I am up, tomorrow at least I have nothing planned... so I can sleep the whole day away if I choose to do so.

Ok... must get cracking.... lots of paper on my desk and students to call.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

I just had my first (and hopefully my last!!!!) MRI experience. It was horrible. I hope to God that I NEVER have to have another one. I don't know how people can stand being in that machine. My whole body was in the machine except for my neck and head. The noise was horrible. Definitely not like what I see on ER or any of those other medical shows. I couldn't wait for it to be over. It was cold in the room...and I was trying to stay still but I continued to shiver and shake because I was so cold. I also didn't know how long it would take. I was in that marchine for a little over an hour.

I would rather have 3 heart biopsies in a row before I would go back in that machine.

I'm at work now and trying to shake off my bad morning (I got up at 5.30... got into the city by 7.15....won't leave here tonight until 7pm).

And, Jamie... to answer your question: Yes, you're both famous in my book!!! :O)

Ta-ta for now.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I can't believe the pictures I'm seeing re: Nicholas Berg. They are horrifying. If anything, it strengthens my resolve that we need to finish what we have started in Iraq. That's all I'm going to say on the issue. You can infer what you will on my political leanings.

Nothing else too exciting to report from my little part of the world. I'm glad it's Wednesday. Wednesdays seem to go by very fast which is nice. After work I have my pastoral care class. Last week I brought pizza for everyone. Don't have the funds this week to do that... although I've been thinking about it already..about how good a pizza from Top Tomato would taste right about now (and it's not even 9am!!).

I really, really want to go see a movie. I haven't been to a movie since seeing "The Passion of the Christ" on February 25. I think this might be my longest stretch without seeing a movie. The thing is, there really isn't anything out now that has totally grabbed me and made me want to see it. Any suggestions for me????

Ta-ta for now.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Another Monday... they seem to always come sooo fast. Nothing too exciting to report from the weekend.

My friend Jamie (of Jamie and Suzy fame) came over on Saturday to help me put together my new coffee table from IKEA. Actually, it wasn't that hard... I think I could have done it alone if I tried...but I didn't. Afterwards, Suzy came over with the kids and I made dinner for everyone.

On Sunday, Suzy and I went and did some errands together. Really, Jamie wanted me to get her out of the house so he could work on her Mother's Day present.

Church was nice. We sang Amazing Grace at the end of the service. I started crying. I love that song.

All in all... it was a quiet weekend.

I think I'll try exercising tonight after work. I haven't been since I screwed up my ankle. It feels OK so I think I'll try again.

Nothing else too exciting to report for now.

Friday, May 07, 2004


I got up extra early this morning and watched the final "Friends" episode. It was nice... like a cozy sweater on a crisp Fall day. It was familiar. It was goofy. I was surprised by the twins. Wasn't surprised by Rachel & Ross. I loved how they ended it... the keys & them all walking out of the apartment together for one last cup of coffee. It was sweet. I think they had a good run for 10 years. Now it's forever reruns!

I received a letter from my one of my old roommates from Ohio. It was great to hear from her. I spent most of last night watching "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" (yes, crying was involved... I always cry when this show is on!!) and writing a long letter back to her. She is really cool. Her parents are missionaries in France. I always thought it was neat when she would speak with her brother and go back and forth from speaking English to speaking French. She studied to be a teacher and she did that for a bit... now she is working at Bank One. Her husband is an interesting fella I still haven't quite figured out and probably never will. But he's nice and he loves her and really, that's all that matters to me. I think he's really good at board games.

Nothing else too exciting to report. I'm just glad it's Friday. Another weekend that is free from work (official work....I need to wash dishes, clean the bathroom, make the bed, change the shower curtain liner, etc). Life is good.

Enjoy your day.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Tonight is the BIG night: the "Friends" last episode. EVER. IT'S FINALLY OVER!!! Yes, I'll be watching it... albeit not with the rest of the 23 million other people. I'm taping it and will watch it later tonight without commercials. I'm a little sad that it's going off the air. It wasn't the best show ever... but it was consistently good.

My friends' son, Joseph (who is 2), whenever he hears the theme song... he starts dancing in the living room. Someday when he's 25 he'll have a faint reminder to that whenever he sees "Friends" on TVLand or someother cable station.

But, alas, 10 years is a really long time to keep coming up with interesting stories about these characters.

That's it for today. No interesting God stories or thoughts. Just glad Jesus finds me to be pretty darn cool.

bye for now. running out to lunch.... it's a beautiful day!

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Just wanted to say that i'm really angry/disappointed today re: a friend of mine... don't know what to do.

On the other hand, my old college friend, Cybele, from Chicago called me and let me know that she's still alive. we talked for quite a bit last night. It was nice.

That's it from here for now. I'm going to the cafeteria for quiche & a quick read of my Newsweek.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Came back from the doctor's appointment a little bit ago. I was there for almost 2 hours... 90 minutes of it just waiting. My appointment was for 10.45am and I finally was first seen by a medical student (who, by the way, is going to be a great doctor... he has a great way with people) and then by the doctor. My ankle was actually starting to feel better last night... I slept through the night and I'm walking more normally... but, he applied pressure to one point of my foot and there is definitely some soreness going on. It really, really hurt.

He thinks that I might have a case of gout. Gout can be common in people like myself who are on immunosuppresed. So, next week I'll be having a bilateral MRI on my ankles. He also gave me a prescription for a painkiller (not quite a narcotic is what he said)... I don't think I will fill it right away... It's not hurting me that much right now and I've always been afraid of getting addicted to painkilllers... although, realistically I know that's not my nature.

Ahh.... life and all it's stories... aren't you glad you stumbled across mine? :O)

that's all at 2.43pm.
Frusterating.... the post from yesterday that I thought originally didn't post .... posted not once, not twice, but THREE times.... I'm such a computer novice.

Last night was great.... I slept the entire night (minus my 3am treck to the bathroom)...but I got to sleep in until 7am this morning. Ahh.. whereas I hate Monday mornings, I LOVE Tuesday mornings.

My mom got me sucked into watching the stupid miniseries "10.5" for the past two evenings... Yes, my mom is 800 miles aways... but it just seemed too funny not to watch it. And, yes, it was as stupid as I thought it was going to be.

I really hope there is not going to be the big one anytime soon... since my good friend, Melissa just recently moved to CA.

Oops... gotta go... doc appt. in 5 minutes.

bye for now.

Monday, May 03, 2004

I wrote a post a little earlier... but for some reason it didn't get posted...

All in all this is what I said:

1. I hate Mondays.
2. I don't like Indonesian food (actually, I thought I would have... but I don't).

Nothing else too exciting to report.

My friend Melissa is in San Fran now with her husband. It's weird not being in the same timezone as her. I was thinking about that last night as I lie awake until the wee hours of the morning.

One other random thought. I think "Frasier" is getting the short end of the stick. There are no special goodbye shows... they don't get to be on Leno the night of their last show, etc.... I never really watched Frasier all the much... but it's received more awards than "Friends" ever did. I think I'm getting "Friends" overload. It was a good show and I will definitely be watching to see how it ends... thank goodness is finally ending.

That's it for now.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Nothing too exciting to report. I'm here at work on a Saturday. I figure I'll get some work accomplished and then go meet my friend Marya and her cousin in Chinatown for dinner.

My gp here at Jeff, Dr. Barash, called me back!!!!!!! At home and at work. I can get in to see the sports medicine guy on Tuesday morning instead of waiting until May 19th. Truth be told, my ankle (or should I say ankles) is feeling better... the heel area just hurts now. I've been taking it easy, getting home from work and putting my feet up... no unnecessary running around.

As I read other blogs... most others have totally profound stuff.... mine, I feel, is pretty mundane compared to the others. Don Liles wrote a couple of days ago about how people disappoint. It was rather thoughtful. I think my problem is that I know that people disappoint...but that I so quickly forget how I was hurt by them and then set myself up again for another fall.... like they've changed or something.

I hate not being able to trust more people in my life. There are a select few I totally trust: Sue, Don, Tara, Melissa, Rachell, Erica, and one of my doctors from Penn: SD, not because he's the best (one of the other docs was just named one of the top docs in Philadelphia...she deserves it)---but because he's the friendliest without appearing false.

All the people I've named have disappointed me... and I know I have to them also...but, the cool thing... is I think they still like me.

Ahh... need to get some more work done.

enjoy the rest of your day.